Little Blue Pills

DAYS N DAZE - LITTLE BLUE PILLS

Little blue pills to help you sleep.

I don’t like my dreams, so I prefer to drink.

I’m clawing at my chest, but the real problem’s in my head.

At least that’s what you say.

There’s no such thing as love & freedom.

There’s only money & sex,

addiction & depression, poverty & all affection is misguided

& the lies keep building up.

I am so tired, my bones do ache.

There’s no time to rest, for now we’ll have to wait.

And, finally, when I can lay with you in bed, for some reason, I’ll drink alone instead.

My decisions don’t involve me anymore.

Just one more taste and I’ll accept this is my life.

My cancerous companion always does its job right,

and a job’s a funny thing ‘cause it’s their money that you need

to pay them back when someone’s charging you to breathe.

Nauseous and sweating, coughing ‘til my throat bleeds,

and I'm shaking so goddamn bad that I can barely hold this notepad to read

the letter that you left me 

to remind me everything turns out okay.

Love?... Anyone?

Blur - Good Song

Waiting, got no town to hide in
The country's got a hold of my soul
TV's dead and there ain't no war in my head, no
And you seem very beautiful to me

Sleeping but my work's not done
I could be lying on an atom bomb
I'll take care cause I know you'll be there
And you seem very beautiful to me

It is the rest of your life keeps a rolling and rolling
Picture in my pocket looks like you
It is the rest of your life keeps a rolling, rolling, rolling along

- she's got everything -

A laugh that makes me smile

A touch that puts my heart to rest

Something in her eyes

And I already bought the diamond ring

She's got everything

She's not the kind of girl
who wants the finer things

Doesn't want a closet full of fancy clothes

Doesn't need a pile of ribbons and bows

But I want her to know how much
she means to me

I hope that she won't be upset

It's not like I would ever forget

But what am I supposed to get for the girl
who's got everything?

The moon, the stars and sky

A touch that puts my heart to rest

Something in her eyes

And I've got everything she'll ever need

She's got everything

Perfume

 ...He heard the random song of birds and the distant music from a harbor tavern; he heard whisperings at his ear, he heard I-love-you and felt his hair ruffle with bliss, now! now at this very moment! He forced open his eyes and groaned with pleasure. 

This perfume was not like any perfume know before. It was not a scent that made things smell better, not some sachet, some toiletry. It was something completely new, capable of creating a whole world, a magical, rich world, and in an instant you forgot all the loathsomeness around you and felt so rich, so at ease, so free, so fine…

"La mayor declaración de amor es la que no se hace... el hombre que siente mucho, habla poco"

- Platón

αρμονία, résonance, aequilibrium

I guess I'll self-dedicate this song like a reminder for everytime I fall in love with someone who seems no to be corresponded... and I say "seems not to be", because the feeling is reciprocal but time and distance don't make things easy, and sometimes not even possible to work things out...

I just want to talk about you...

Todo ciclo tiene un principio y un final.

Muchas veces no queremos que las cosas terminen, pero todo cierre da comienzo a un nuevo inicio.

El espacio y el tiempo son cíclicos, o al menos hasta cierto punto con cierto grado de elipticidad...

En increíble como toda conjunción de tiempo y espacio es única, mientras que un mismo instante puede albergar infinidad de lugares, y un mismo espacio puede albergar infinidad de momentos. 

Cada suceso es único e irrepetible.

Hablar de casualidad y destino es casi lo mismo. A esta altura de la vida, muy pocas cosas puedo adjudicar a la mera voluntad de ser o hacer, dejando de lado el factor inevitable del "destino".

Somos lo que hacemos con lo que hicieron de nosotros.

En mi vida pareciera que hay un cierto desfasaje espacio-temporal, o tal vez no... pero si puedo asegurar que muchas veces lo que pareciera destinado a ser, por uno u otro motivo pareciera difícil de alcanzar o incluso inalcanzable. A veces hay que dejar de buscar para encontrar...

hay que largarse al infinito sin medir las consecuencias para llegar al destino que nos corresponde.

Cada persona es un núcleo; cada persona es un mundo.

- - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - -

- - -

o

"En el equilibrio de la naturaleza está las respuestas a todas las preguntas" 

- AПZ -

かなしみ わ よる の むこう (Love Trip)

Love Trip - Takako Mamiya [ 間宮貴子 ] - 1982

What a Broken Heart Can Do

I'm just a freak here at the sideshow

Where all the people can look at me

Between the strong man and the tattooed lady

I'm here to look at, not to see

I see all the young couples passing by

And watch them catch each other tight

Then one will whisper to the other

Please, won't you stay with me tonight?

I've seen the hard looks and the empty stares

I've heard the sighs and silent screams

I've felt the pain that comes when no ones cares

Know the ache of your worst dreams

This is what a broken heart can do

It's why the angels ignore me

This is what a broken heart can do

There is no wire or strings

I've lost everything

Don't be sure that it won't happen to you

What a broken heart can do

when sadness lingers well beyond into the night?

(Kanashimi wa yoru no mukou)

My feelings are fatal <\3

I'm happy for you, I'm smiling for you
I'd do anything for you, for you.
It's always for you, and never for me
And I need it to stop so let me tell you please
I'm always sad, and I'm always lonely
I could never tell you that I'm breaking slowly

Close doors, locked in, no key
Keeping my feelings hidden, there's no ease
I need it to stop and I want to be able
To open up, but my feelings are fatal

How many times must I keep it inside?
I need to let go and I swear that I've tried
But opening up means trusting others
And that's just to much and I don't want to bother.

So I'll keep it inside, and bury it deep
I know it's not healty but you won't hear a peep

https://m.soundcloud.com/mxmtoon

http://amidstsilence.tumblr.com

https://shelliihe.tumblr.com

- let me get what I want -

Good time for a change

See, the luck I've had

Can make a good man

Turn bad

So please please please

Let me, let me, let me

Let me get what I want

This time

Haven't had a dream in a long time

See, the life I've had

Can make a good man turn bad

So for once in my life

Let me get what I want

Lord knows, it would be the first time

Lord knows, it would be the first time

- there's a light that never goes out -

♥

Though the looking glass...

Mirror, mirror, can't you see? 
What you show is killing me

Mirror, mirror, look at my face. 
God it's so ugly, I'm such a disgrace

Mirror, mirror, look deep in my eyes. 
Can you see past all the lies?

Mirror, mirror, on the wall. 
You've watched me grow, now watch me fall

Mirror, mirror, you've never been a friend.
Are you happy you've finally seen my end?

"Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing"

- Oscar Wilde

"You have to love yourself, because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you"

- Dodinsky

"You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection"

- Buddha

"People who are not happy with themselves, can't possibly be happy with you"

- Anonymous

Come to Me

Lily & Madeleine - Come To Me

If the sky was falling over us
If the ground below us turned to dust
Would you come, to me?

If the song it had me overcome
The tremble low can sometimes shake me up
Would you come, to me?

Ohh...

If your heart is burning like the sun
If it means that you will have to run
If it takes leaving everyone
Would you come, to me?

If the birds stop singing in the tree
Would you come, to me?

♡

Café Society

"Not only we have to embrace the meaningless of life, but celebrate life because it has no meaning. Live everyday like it's your last, and some day you'll be right..."

"Me gusta la gente capaz de entender que el mayor error del ser humano, es intentar sacarse de la cabeza aquello que no sale del corazón" ... "Mi estrategia es que un día cualquiera, no se como ni sé con que pretexto, por fin me necesites"

- Mario Benedetti

竹内 まりや - Plastic Love

Totsuzen no kisu ya atsui manazashi de

[With a sudden kiss or a fiery stare]

Koi no puroguramu o kuruwasenai de ne

[Don't mess up my programs of love]

Deai to wakare jōzu ni uchikonde

[I've input hellos and goodbyes so neatly]

Jikan ga kureba owaru

[Everything comes to an end in due time]

Don't hurry!

Ai ni kizutsuita anohi kara zutto

[Ever since that day I got hurt by love]

Hiru to yoru ga gyaku no kurashi o tsuzukete

[I've been living a vampire life]

Hayari no disco de odori akasu uchini

[While dancing nights away at trendy discos]

Oboeta majutsu nanoyo

[I've learned this magic]

I'm sorry!

Watashi no koto o keshite honki de aisanai de

[Never love me seriously]

Koi nante tadano gēmu

[Love is just a game]

Tanoshimeba sorede iino

[If I'm having fun, that's enough]

Tozashita kokoro o kazaru hadena doresu mo kutsu mo

[Fancy dresses and shoes that decorate my closed mind]

Kodoku na tomodachi

[They're my friends to ease lonliness]

Watashi o sasou hito wa hinikuna mono ne itsumo kare ni niteruwa nazeka

[Ironically every guy who asks me out looks like him for some reason]

Omoide to kasanariau

[That provokes my memories]

Gurasu o otoshite kyū ni namidagundemo

[Even if I drop a glass and suddenly fill my eyes with tears]

Wake wa tazunenai de ne

[Don't ask me why]

Yohuke no kōsoku de nemuri ni tsuku koro

[When I fall asleep on an expressway late at night]

Harogen raito dake ayashiku kagayaku

[Only halogen lights shine mysteriously]

Kōri no yōni tsumetai onna dato

[That I'm a woman as cold as ice]

Sasayaku koe ga shitemo

[Even if you hear a voice whispering so]

Don't worry!

I'm just playing games

I know that's plastic love

Dance to the plastic beat

Another morning comes

突然のキスや熱いまなざしで
恋のプログラムを狂わせないでね
出逢いと別れ上手に打ち込んで
時間がくれば終わる                                      Don't hurry!
愛に傷ついたあの日からずっと
昼と夜が逆の暮らしを続けて
はやりのディスコで踊り明かすうちに
おぼえた魔術なのよ                                       I'm sorry!
私のことを決して本気で愛さないで
恋なんてただのゲーム 楽しめばそれでいいの
閉ざした心を飾る 派手なドレスも靴も 孤独な友だち
私を誘う人は皮肉なものねいつも彼に似てるわ
なぜか思い出と重なり合う
グラスを落として急に涙ぐんでもわけは尋ねないでね
夜更けの高速で眠りにつくころ
ハロゲンライトだけ妖しく輝く
氷のように冷たい女だと
ささやく声がしても                                           Don't worry!

- FOCUS on what is IMPORTANT -

♂: Are you in love with him?

♀: I guess I'll never really know. I just know I felt things I've never felt before. The kind of wrenching feeling. I didn't know what it was, it just tore at my heart... have you ever felt that way?


♂: I have...

♀: I tried to save him,... but I think I was the one to save...

♂: When I was younger, I wasn't afraid of anything. I've never had the slightest fear of dying. No reason for it... I thought that if I die, that's fine with me any time at all... But then, I met a certain woman, and it changed. I started to think I wanted to survived... for the first time, the idea of death began to scare me. It was on my mind. I've never felt that kind of feeling. Almost paralyzed...

♀: And...     where is she now?

♂: She... 
faded off somewhere...

... I think I was the one who was saved

Las almas se reconocen entre si por las vibraciones, no por las apariencias

まだ 愛して // Mada Aishite

Take me to your place

Soften your breathing

And become the wind

Take me to where you are

Passing through time

My heart unravels 

Let's listen, carefully until dusk falls 

It's concealed itself 

So, wait for its greeting 

The fickle winds find reason 

To turn my memories inside out

I listened to your words then, 
without a care 

Within my heart, I wondered - 
how long will it be? 

Is this a part of something bigger?

The fragrant sunflowers have yet to fall 
They're in no hurry

Italy wicked

Hace algo más de 2 meses empecé a escuchar cada vez con mas frecuencia varios géneros musicales relativamente nuevos (o al menos para mí): LoFi y Waporwave.

De los tantos compilados que hay online, hubo un tema que estuvo resonando frecuentemente en mi mente, como si anunciara la catastrofe sin antes de cualquier indicio.

Escuchando la letra con detenimiento, ahora entiendo porque este (al igual que otros) temas me generan algo tan profundo.

No se si una cosa lleva a la otra (probablemente que si), pero hasta entonces no lo asociaba como algo negativo, triste y melancólico.

Ahora todo tiene un poco mas de sentido...

Otro tema más para escuchar una y otra vez.

Como si en alguna de esas noches junto a vos, parte de lo que hoy se siente perdido, hubiera quedado ligada a este tema o este sentimiento que me genera oirlo una y otra vez.

Necesito saber, todo lo que ES y todo lo que no...

Aunque querer saberlo influya en parte en el destino...

Nunca creí que me volvería a enamorar

Vincular tanto con alguien nuevamente.

Y ahora que ya pasó, aunque ni lo esperaba, ni planeaba, no quiero que se termine ni quiero reconocer que tal vez ya haya sucedido.

Aunque no sepa si decirlo puede hacer que termine o que perdure...

Todo sería mas feliz si no nos enroscasemos tanto con todo y pudieramos simplemente dejar que las cosas fluyan y vivir sin pensar tanto...

Waterfront dinning - Miami Wicked

Two of hearts, lace and satin

Something in the air

Feel like another crook

That's been captured by your stare

Oh-oh Oh-oh

Falling in love, falling in love again

Oh-oh Oh-oh

And I don't want, no no no

Oh-oh Oh-oh

Falling in love, falling in love again

Oh-oh Oh-oh

Falling, falling

Jealous feelings reappearing

Suck a wicked dare

I'm just so damned confused,

And I wonder, do you care?

Falling in love again

----------------------------------------

No quiero permanecer mas sin saber
Necesito decirlo para poder procesarlo
No que es mejor si evitar sentir algo
O sentirlo sin saber como te sentis vos

Una mezcla de enojo y celos, de saber que no puedo estar con vos aunque quiera
Y a su vez de orgullo, de sentir que si se presenta la oportunidad probablemente la rechace para no sentirme estupidamente disponible, al punto de sentirme usado - de segunda opción.

♥ Ἀφροδίτη ♥

El amor no es algo que se le deba o que haya que tener que sentir o demostrarlo por nadie.

El tiempo me enseñó que el amor es algo que se aprende a dar y tambien a recibir, y que lleva un buen tiempo hasta lograrlo. Pero creo que lo mas escencial es no privarse de demostrarlo cuando realmente se siente. Es un gesto, un abrazo, un beso, una sonrisa...
Es tan lindo poder sentirlo y poder vibrar con otras personas en la misma frecuencia, poder transmitirlo y sentirlo mas allá de lo verbal o lo sexual.

El amor es uno de los motores mas importantes de la conducta humana.

No siempre todo es alegría en el amor. A veces se mezcla con otros sentimientos... pero no hay mayor sensación de plenitud que sentirse enamorado, que exista una reciprocidad y que haya una armonía vibracional.

Cada vez creo mas en la energía, en los principios de resonancia y en el amor que siempre tuve y finalmente puedo expresar libre y plenamente sin ningun condicional mas que mis instintos y mi voluntad de expresarlos.

Mucho tiempo fuí partidario de la frase de Platón "La mayor declaración de amor es la que no se hace; el hombre que siente mucho habla poco". Siempre creí que era suficiente con demostrarlo sin tener que decirlo. Muchas veces incluso no tenía interes de compartir mi felicidad con nadie mas, pero en este momento necesito aliviar la tensión y expresarlo aunque sea gradualmente en todas las maneras posibles para evitar tanta acumulación energética...

εν το παν και δι αυτου το παν και εις αυτο το παν

Daisies Up Your Butterfly...

When the truth is found to be lies

and all the joy within you dies

When the garden flowers are dead

and your mind is full of red

don't you want somebody to love

don't you need somebody to love

wouldn't you love somebody to love

you better find somebody to love

your eyes may look like hers

but in your head I'm afraid you don't know where it is

tears are running, running down your breast

and your friends, they treat you like a guest

There's nothing worst than feel your whole life could be summarized as a constant loving failure... It's hard to understand a person as much as well as oneself... and once you've done, it's even harder, because of the fact you can basically predict anything they might say, feel or think... 

Emotional entanglement shouldn't be as hard as it is.

Past can not be changed, but if we try hard enough, at least we could try to change our own future...

Well... I've been seeing red, and singing the blues far back as I can tell

Untiil daisies came from heaven and decorate the gates of hell

You might believe the world is sweet and fine as sugar candy

but, I myself believe in whatever comes in handy 

You are whistling past the graveyard, hoping for the best...

your rainbow's bringing rain that's gonna sink your damn love boat

What is love? (Rick and Morty)

"I hate to break it to you, but what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits you hard, then slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it... break the circle, rise above, focus on science"

- Rick Sanchez, Earth Dimension C137

10 minutes left of freedom

Somedays I'm build of metal, I can't be broken

But not when I'm with you

You love me real, we have it all

Can't leave me now

I love the way, you are today

Run away with me now

Wind in my hair, cause I don't care

Baby run away with me now 

Do you feel it, do you feel it?

Do you feel that I can see your soul?

Do you feel it, do you feel it?

Do you feel the beat in your heart?

I want it, I want it real

Run away with me now 

Drinking in the summer, I'm good at running

I beat you in the race again

Are you afraid, when I look your way

It's easiest to stay at home

But then we taste it, we got to have it

We have no control

Where is the love, the kind we dream of

The kind that makes us young

Don't leave me

Never leave me out

Johnnie Ray - Walking In The Rain (1956)

Just walking in the rain

Getting soaking wet

Torturing my heart

By trying to forget

Just walking in the rain

So alone and blue

All because my heart

Still remembers you

People come to windows

They always stare at me

Shaking their heads in sorrow

Saying, who can that fool be

Just walking in the rain

Thinking how we met

Knowing things could change

Somehow I can't forget

... A singing detective, singing in the rain

Ella Fitzgerald & The Ink Spots - Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall (1944)

Into each life some rain must fall

But too much is falling in mine

Into each heart some tears must fall

But some day the sun will shine

Some folks can lose the blues in their hearts

But when I think of you another shower starts

I'm just a detective...